Thursday, October 30, 2008

A perfect morning.

I always do a lot of thinking on my way to work in the mornings. And today was no different. As the golden sun was reflecting on the back of the cars in front of me, and the dark blue clouds covered the sky – I was happy. This is my favorite time of year. I love the light breeze and snuggling up in sweaters. But today was a little bit different. I could feel the change in the air. Listing to the radio and thinking about the future of our country, I could not help but to be so excited at the thought of the change that is coming within the next week. I passed a gas station where the price was a little bit lower than the day before, I passed the meat shop where there was not a truck of chickens waiting for the store to open (known to put a damper on my morning mood) ,a beautiful song came on and I sang, and I thought of the future in a good way. Not just for the country and the economy, but for my personal life too. There are so many bad things going on all the time, and some times it’s really hard to deal with. But there are days like today where it’s easy to see how God is in my life, with the thoughts of what the future will bring , with the possibilities of my business growing , one day buying a home and expanding our family – and blessing me with golden light that reflects on the cars in front of me.

p.s. The next entry will contain photos from a recent family shoot, not my personal thoughts – I promise ;) ……but there are sure to be some photos you have not seen yet if you scroll down to the previous entries! :D ....(yeah, like 4 entries ago, but they are down there some place!)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Voted!

So I am not generally big on politics and don’t plan to bring much of it to my blog. But I just have a quick comment…… I voted! It was my first time voting, and I think it was the time to start taking interest and initiative in my/our future.

So this year I decided to do some research and make some decisions! Well at least give my little vote on the matter ;)

I filled out my absentee ballot last night, and while listening to the radio about the campaigns this morning I got the slightest bit teary eyed at the thought of the future and the change of the county, and that I had a little bit to say about it.

For a girl who is not too big on politics, this kind of hit me all of a sudden and now I am so excited about the future of our country, and cant wait to see what the results of this election are.

I seriously urge every one to get out and vote on November 4th. I am not going to sit here and tell you who and what props to vote for (even though I have a few strong feelings about it). But it’s truly an experience to just get out there and make a bit of a difference and have your voice herd.

On a side note, heck yeah for gas being under $3!

p.s. I know there have been a lot of personal entries as of late. . I promise there will be a photo entry soon!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

October: the loss of my dad ,and the love of my husband.

I used to be a big October hater. I couldn’t help but be really sad as I see tons of Halloween decorations, in a strange mix of memories. dad was a big fan of the holiday (well every holiday really), but after a 14 month battle with cancer he passed away 6 years ago this month.I have a lot of days that are hard with out him in my life. So his love of the holiday turned into this really strange thing with all the morbid decorations, and needless to say – Halloween has lost a bit of its luster. Besides all that, I have a lot of hard days missing my dad, even 6 years later. Not only did I loose my dad that day, but I lost my best friend, and if you know me personally, you know that my life completely changed dramatically by the way his death affected a lot more than just me. October used to be the month that I went from my crazy happy self to going into hibernation in a little cave some place dark. He was truly an amazing person, and I think it was just a really hard thing for some people to deal with. As much as I could go on about how much I miss my dad, and all the things that changed with his passing – I’m going to stop right there before this becomes a sad post, and flip it right around to why October became a little bit of a happier month 2 years ago……

Sean and I had been dating for about 7 years (with a break in-between, but who’s counting that?). New Found Glory (our fave band for the last 9 years or so) had a couple shows in town that week. We went to HOB Hollywood the night before, and to the HOB Anaheim the next night (We hardly ever miss a show of theirs, I think we are at about 30ish shows, or more now). So I come home from work that day and Sean says he has a surprise for me ,and he tells me that he won back stage passes to this show. Which was amazing! And I was so excited!!! So we get there and met up with our friends, Sean went to go get our passes from New Found Glory’s tour Manager. The show was amazing, every one was great -Hit the Lights , Cartel , The Early November – then we ran down to the back stage area for New Found Glory. We went down there and the manager was talking to Sean for a bit, about where we could stand and watch the show from the side of the stage. All the other bands were back there hanging out with us too (along with Eisley) . It was just an awesome experience to be able to do that with your favorite band. So I was just in heaven watching and singing back there, and watching the people out in the audience. So they are done with their set and came back for the encore. And then Chad (NFG’s bass player) starts talking about his friend, and how this guy wants to do something. And I was not paying attention because I was still in awe of every one around me. Next thing I know, Sean is grabbing my hand and pulling me with him as he runs on stage. And I swear I thought he was just being crazy (as usual) and I tried to pull him back, but next thing I know we were standing there in front of a sold out crowd of 1,500 people with bight lights on our faces. So Chad handed Sean the microphone, and that’s where Sean told me he loved me the best way you could tell any one. It was beautiful! After he put the (very beautiful) ring on my finger, Chad took the microphone back and said “Well now you guys have to kiss!". So Sean picked me up and twirled me around as we kissed in the spot light on stage as every one cheered, and it was perfect. When we walked off to the side of the stage all the guys in the bands and stage crews congratulated us and gave us hugs, high fives. Their manager even came and gave us a few beers! And (in my still confused state) I asked Sean "So did you really win backstage passes?” and he laughed at me and said no, and that he had been planning this for the past 6 months. And I could not stop shaking for the life of me. Then Sean and I hugged and kissed and sang ‘Too Good To Be’ (which just so happens to be inscribed in our wedding bands) which Sean had asked them to play for us and then the show was over. So we hung out will all the guys for a couple minutes. Then the band manager (that Sean had been talking to over the last few months) told us that every one was waiting for us outside of these doors, so we went out there, and lots of friends that I LOVE were there!. The show had been sold out but the band manager was able to get Sean a few more tickets so that the people that mean the most to us could be there.

Believe it or not, that was the cliff notes version. If you know me, you know that I don’t know how to keep stories too short ;).

So needless to say, October still has its really hard moments (along with a lot of other days), but a lot of those feelings of overwhelming sadness, loss and emptiness have been replaced by overwhelming feelings of happiness, love, and contentment. I feel so blessed to have Sean (and my new family) in my life. No one will ever be able to replace what I loss when my father passed away, but it sure helps to have such amazing love in my life. When we got engaged 2 years ago we started planning every thing right away (including buying my massive dress right away that did not fit into my venue we later decided on), I was so excited to marry the man that I love unconditionally – and I felt like the wedding could not come fast enough. Now that the 2 years has gone by, I have no idea where the time has gone. But now, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him! As the last 4 months have flown by since the wedding, I’m sure time will keep flying just as fast being happy together. And now we have our entire futures to plan together.

I’m still getting the hang of the new rules of being married. But if we are still celebrating other anniversaries….Happy 2 year engagement anniversary babe! I love you sooooo much!

Whats a blog with out some photos.........................
My attempt at some engagement photos using our point and shoot and a tripod

Oh....and I figured I would toss one in where we are not kissing ;)

Not the best picture of us , but I love it.
On our mini honeymoon at the JW Mariott in Palm Desert on the boats on our way to the most yummy dinner I've ever had!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Time for a "big" change!

So last year Bobbi (of bobbi + mike) set up this awesome weight loss “program” where every one encourages each other along the way, and I followed along and cheered for every one. At the time I was planning my wedding, and was not ready to completely put my heart into loosing any weight as much as I wanted to.

But to be completely honest, I’ve put on way too much weight over the past couple years. Even more while planning my wedding – and I’m sure a lot of it had to do with the stress that surrounded it as well as some other issues. But then even after the wedding! The last few months I’ve only been adding to my belly.

Let me just say, I’ve never "believed" in diets and it used to drive me nuts when people were so crazy about what they ate . It seriously drove me crazy! I always figured that you only live once, and to do what makes you happy – as I sat there confused at the people eating salads and I downed my chili cheese fries (sadly….this is not an exaggeration). I can admit that 70% (or more) of my diet consists of potatoes (..and cheese!) of some shape or form (and its not easy that I make the best potato creations in the entire world….I know…..I’m talented! ;D ). I’ve also always been really tiny. In high school I was running around Knott’s Berry Farm with a giant Snoopy costume on (not as some strange freak, but as my part time job!....well I was a little bit of a strange freak too, but I got paid for it) . So I guess that’s what kept me a bit smaller. But now….now… all of a sudden, even with my 4’11” frame, I’m not so tiny any more. Others might argue this, and its only because I feel like maybe I have been able to hide it pretty well in the past. But now that I am beyond tired all the time, and feel so sluggish and most importantly so very uncomfortable with myself. Its time for a change!

Sean and I did the whole wedding thing on our very own and needless to say – as the youngins we are ( trying to handle this world on our own, working multiple jobs, putting the hubby through school, crazy high rent, and just getting though day to day life) – we don’t exactly roll in the funds. As hard as we busted our butts for two years to pay for it all, (after much disappointment) we ended up canceling our honeymoon since it was just out of reach at the time . Luckily for us, a family trip came up that will allow us to take a trip for twice as long for half the cost. And we have the benefit of being able to save for it for a whole extra year. Plus instead of our one location that we were planning on before, we are now going to 7 different islands AND leaving from Puerto Rico! As the original honeymoon inspired me to save like crazy for the wedding, this revised (belated) honeymoon is now REALLY inspiring me to feel comfortable in my body for the trip. I really want to be able to wear a bathing suit and feel good about myself , look good for my new hubby , and get on the healthy train to prep myself for future additions to our family in a couple years.

So as motivation I bought myself an adorable new bathing suit for next years trip (from J.Crew!... still on the clearance rack, of course!)– after my first summer of my life searching and searching for one I like – only to be left in tears in the dressing room, and/or returning any thing I think may be okay (but then coming home to realize that I look like I could possibly have grandchildren while wearing it). And let me tell you, I've never thought of myself this way before – I'm a really confident person, and to be this torn up about how I look and feel is just not a good thing at all.

Alright, so its time to wrap up this confessional. So as of last week I have been eating great, working out a few days a week and I already feel much much better about myself. I was not sure if I would have the will power for this, but I feel like this is a new chapter of my life that I am excited about and I don’t even really want to eat “bad”. I am really excited to be hot! ;)

So I’m on board with Bobbi this time! (….oh , and Heather too!).

Wish me luck on my journey to being healthy!

p.s. after a long debate about weather or not our scale works properly with my husband, he convinced me that I may have actually lost 4lbs this week. Holla!

p.p.s. Oh I guess this is where I am supposed to declare my goal. My goal is to loose 25lbs by June. Believe me , that's big for me - especially since I'm not a tall girl.

p.p.p.s. I'm ready to drop it like its hot!.....yeah, I just went there.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fullerton Portrait Photography - { Lissette : Just for fun! }

I met up with Lissette for a VERY quick session just before the sun went down today.
It was the shortest portrait session I have ever shot, but some how we risked our lives multiple times. Eh, scary! But it made for a very fun adventure, and some really fun shots! I only wish we had more time for all the locations we found later on our detour back to the car.

Thanks Lissette! I had an awesome time on our adventure!